Safe Place

Hi my name is Chelsea.  I am  a member of  the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I love Jesus Christ and my loving Father in Heaven.

And I want to be here to help those come unto Christ as I myself come unto Christ as well.  I don't have all the answers and I will never know anything until I come face to face with the Lord and His Son, but I want to be here to help those that do have questions.  To those that may feel lost.  Ones that are confused.  Or ones that want a good study partner.  

Most importantly I want a safe place where people can feel good to ask questions and to learn more. Where people can share their opinions, their passions,  their thoughts without the fear of being torn to pieces by the ugly parts of the world.  A place where there is no judging.  No painful words or thoughts or feeling.  a SAFE PLACE

Here is something that happened recently, and I hope that I was able to help.

I had a question in the comment for a friend, she stated.

Why go to church when you can praise god every single day without being dressed up? God loves all of his children. Why go to a church where you are constantly judged by what you wear and how much god loves you because of what you wear? Makes no sense

Which is a good and valid question.  I get it.  The judging eyes hurt. And the people of this world aren't perfect so the judging eyes may always be around.... Which sucks. 

So this is what came to my heart to help her.

Now if we can do this without fighting or hurt feelings I will continue this. But if there is at all negative feelings on my end or your end. I will stop. So let me know if you get any negative feelings. The Spirit can speak through my words, as long as you are willing to listen.

I agree 100% God does love all his children and He wants everyone to come back to Him. And He being our loving Father has given us a plan to help us find our way back.
We make promises to Him as well as He making promises to us. It's like a conversation. There has to be work done on both parts or it doesn't work.
Going to church on Sunday isn't just to dress up and worship Him. Although if it is possible to dress us, that is great. But really I wouldn't mind seeing people in jeans, as long as they feel like they are giving their best and respect to their Loving Heavenly Father.
Yes I know that a lot of people don't see that way, which is sad. But that is why trusting in the Lord and in His church is so important than trusting in the people that go to His church. We are all imperfect people, but as long as we are striving to Come Unto Christ, we are walking along his path.
NOW, the main reason WHY you go to church is to renew your promise with Him by taking the sacrament. The sacrament is like a mini Baptism, renews your promise to take upon yourself the name of Christ and to follow Him. It "washes" away your sins or mistakes, whichever you prefer to call them, that you have done within the week.
I understand the feeling of being judged. I see it all the time. It sucks and it hurts. But I want you to do one thing for me and if not for me then do it for yourself.
Go to your room or somewhere quiet.
Kneel down, or do something that shows respect to God.
Pray. Talk to your Father in Heaven.
Thank for you everything and anything you want to thank Him for.
And then ask Him one question and one question only - even if you know the answer-
"Heavenly Father do you love me?"
Once you get that answer, ask yourself. Are you willing and able to look past the ugly parts of the world and do as the Lord asks. Showing your love to Him by doing as He asks us to?

I also found a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 59: 4-12 

4 And they shall also be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few, and with revelations in their time—they that are faithful and diligent before me.
5 Wherefore, I give unto them a commandment, saying thus: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy might, mind, and strength; and in the name of Jesus Christ thou shalt serve him.
6 Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. ........
7 Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.
8 Thou shalt offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteousness, even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
9 And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day;
10 For verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High;
11 Nevertheless thy vows shall be offered up in righteousness on all days and at all times;
12 But remember that on this, the Lord’s day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.
If you have any questions, let me know, and if wanted you can always message me. :)

I hope that she can understand my words and feel the Spirit testify to her of the truth.  I hope that there is nothing in there is make her feel hurt.  Having an open heart and the will to listen is the best way for us to learn from each other.  The hate in this world is strong and it is slowly taking over..... We need to fight back, not by fighting each other, but from learning from each other in a safe place of the love and knowledge of other people.  Together we are strong, separate we are weak. 

As we come together to learn of truths we can rise above anything.  This is why we are here.  To build each other up, so that we can rise and make it back to our Heavenly father!

Bark Box

So I have been wanting to try barkbox out for the longest time and now they have finally set it to where it comes out monthly instead of one big buy to start it!!! Means I can try it now!!! So excited!!!! :)

I also found out that I can give everyone a free month, and in return I get a free month, but there is also the option to donate a box to a dog shelter and that sounds oh so amazing!

So
https://www.barkbox.com/r/SEASHELLS
With this link, you can get yourself a free month of barkbox! And on top of that give a box to a shelter dog! Brighten your day, and the day of a dog that is still waiting for his forever home.

Brighton Advice

If you remember anything from what is written here, I hope you remember this very first thing.
LOVE YOUR GIRLS!
Know that not only will you be changing their lives, but they will be changing yours. Enjoy the small things. Enjoy the time when it’s raining and you can’t do any ropes courses, but you can sit inside a cabin and just enjoy the time together. Each and every girl you will meet and have in your unit is there for a reason. LOVE THEM. Even if they are a little difficult to handle at times or you don’t understand why they are acting a certain way. LOVE HER. You will be learning so much every minute of everyday, if you are willing to learn from everything that surrounds you.
If there is nothing else that you can do, LOVE, is the best answer.

Seashells
Always pee clear!
AND BE PROUD OF C LEAR PEE

Gone but Found

Being outside those walls is an interesting feeling. I haven't been gone for too long, but it's a completely different world out here. Luckily I found somewhere that I can be safe and I don't have to worry too much about what happens during the night time. I should have stopped running in circles years ago.  I should have left those walls sooner.  Maybe this way I will be able to be found.  I can feel normal.  I can be me.  I don't have to be Alexandria anymore.   

Although, I'm not completely sure on what to call myself right now; but for now, that doesn't matter.  There is no one around me to call me by a name.  It's just me and the things around me.  Maybe I can just call myself 'A'.  Nothing special.  Nothing extraordinary.  I'm just A.

It's kind of funny.  Now that I am out here, I keep thinking how different it is.  How I really didn't know anything while I was living inside of those walls.  I mean, I left the place, but it was always with them.  I never left alone, almost like they were scared that I would get lost.... That I would never come back.   That they would never see me again.....  But now I am here.  Alone.  I haven't felt more found.... I think I am on to something.  I am finding something, I am slowly finding myself.  And now I have all the time in the world to be able to continue to search.  And one day I will be found!  

So I may be gone, but in a way, I feel like I've been found.

YOU Have the POWER

Life isn't what anyone wants.  People swear and will call others bad names, sometimes that's the only way some people can feel go about themselves.
I hope that little girl has gotten stronger because of that little experience, that a simple word like ass won't ruin her whole day.  Because hell, there is so much more out there that will hit her that a thousand bricks.  Life sucks sometimes; sometimes just because of the people that you have to deal with.  It gets hard.  But if you can stand your ground and you know who and what you are, life will never knock you down for long. Be strong, be stronger than you think you could ever be.  I know each and everyone of us on this earth has a power that we can't even imagine, and that's because we are children of God.  Someone who has given us the power to handle anything that the world has to throw at us.
If someone calls you an ass, and you know you're not.  Well prove them wrong by being the person you are! don't change to be the person they think you are!

You're beautiful! You're strong! And you are one of a kind!

People love you, don't let one person ruin your day, or your life.

Keep going.
Shoot for the stars!
Reach your goals!
Make your dreams come true.

YOU HAVE THE POWER.

Fishie Park Ass Memory

I remember going to the a park next to my parent's house. We call it the fishie park. I was there with my little brother Jaeden. We started to play a game of tag with some other kids and the ball they had.
The girl, whom the ball belonged to, decided she wanted to leave. She walked up to Jaeden, who had the ball at the moment, and ripped the ball out of his hands, "I'm going home". She said in a snotty voice.
Looking at her in surprise by how rude and disrespectful that was, the words slipped out of my mouth. "Well you don't have to be an ass about it."

We continued to play a different game with the kids that were there. Not needing that ball to have fun.  We played like nothing happened.

Not too long, seriously a couple minutes. The mother of the daughter comes at me, as quick as she can walk, anger in her face. I smile at her, stopping what I am doing and wait for her, it's easy to tell that she is coming for me and no one else at the park.
She then goes on to ask if I was the one who called her daughter the 'A' word.
For a split second, I thought; you can lie. Pretend like it never happened, but I pushed that thought away from my mind. Looking at the mother I nodded and calmly said yes.
She went off on how her daughter was in tears because of it. How her daughter was coming home at the time that she was asked to come home. How I shouldn't be talking like that around children.

I listened and took a deep breath. When she was done, I told her what happened. That she had taken the ball from my brother; which she quickly informed me that it was in-fact her daughter's ball.
I told her I understood that, but it was in the manner of the way that she took it from my brother.
I told her that we would have given it back, but that her daughter came and ripped it out of his hands like she had the right to do so. That it was rude, disrespectful, and uncalled for. All she had to do was ask and be nice, not being an ass about it, and she would have gotten her ball back.

The mother dropped her head.
I simply apologized for calling her daughter an ass, then asked for an apology from the daughter to my brother by how she treated him.
The mother apologized for her and walked away.

I can honestly say to this day that I do not regret calling her an ass. I hope that girl and her mother both learned a lesson, just like I learned a lesson that day.  I hope that girl doesn't just remember someone calling her an ass, but the reason she was called that and that she ends up showing respect towards others.

Running in Circles

Have you seen a circle?  They never end.  You can follow that line and keep going on forever without any hope of finding the end of the line.  Never stopping, just running and following that line that will never end.  Running in circles.  No hope.  No end.  No release.

How am I suppose to escape this circle that my so called "parents" have put me into.  You remember when I told you about my "mother", how she cries almost every night and her husband leaves almost every night because of it?  Well, that's a circle that I have decided to end.  I don't want to be here and keep running around this circle, thinking that everything will be okay in the end.  Thinking that maybe one day something will change in the circle; that it won't be the same as the last thousand times we have gone around this hell hole.  It doesn't work like that.  Circles will always be circles and nothing will ever change them.  That line will continue going and unless you get off that line, you will never see a change.  No matter how much you hope and pray for it.

I'm changing.  I'm leaving.  I won't run in this circle anymore.
The only thing, is they don't know.  I have to do it in secret, I'm sure they would never let me out of their sight if they knew my intentions. If they had their way I would be stuck here, in the circle, for the rest of the life.  Never finding my true identity.  Always being lost.

But that won't happen.  I am gone.

Tonight.

They won't see me again; hopefully that will stop her tears and his absence. 

Everything will be better

No more running in circles.

Pain

There have been so many times where I can hear her crying at night, but it's not that normal crying.  It's sobbing, like something is terribly wrong.  It almost sounds like her life won't ever be right again and all she can do now is put on a happy face during the day, trying to be strong, and cry it all out at night.  Sometimes I can see her break, even for just a moment, during the day.   She wants to be stronger than she is.  And you know what the problem is..... I wish I did.  Most of the time I believe it's me.  They know I'm not what they want me to be.  I honestly believe that I am killing her slowly.  I don't know how I am, but I am..... The only time she breaks during the day is when I'm around.  She is fine when I'm not there, for all I know, She really doesn't want me here; just as much as I don't want to be here.  I don't belong here and she knows it too.  Alexandria should be here instead of me, but yet, she isn't and I am.....

You really don't understand the pain that she has in her heart.  I don't even understand it.  But it's just another reason that I need to be..... be found.....  Another reason that I need to get away from this place.  This isn't my place to be and I'm killing her, my "mother"; she is in so much pain because of me.

I'm not like her.  She isn't like me.  This isn't working. I don't even know about my "father", he likes to keep his distance when she isn't around.  And at night when she cries; when she is in so much need of him,  he isn't there.  He disappears and returns once she is done.  Maybe that's his way of taking in the pain, or maybe he just can't take it.  He probably wants me gone as well, so that his wife will stop the sobbing.

I need to leave..... This pain..... Is just too much...... They don't need this in their life.  They are good people.  I mean they treat me well and they tell me that they love me.  I know they wouldn't do anything to hurt me because they care for me.  Or so they say.  But I still don't understand how they can love me, when I am completely different from them.  I don't belong here with them and there is this pain that has been constant since the day that I got here.  I didn't understand it till now.... But it's..... pain..... A pain that will never heal.

The question is....... Am I the one causing this.... Pain? 

 

 

Alexandria

They tell me I have name, they call me by this name.  It's their way of getting my attention when they want to talk to me.  They call me..... Alexandria. I even asked them where I got this so called name.  They told me that it was the name of someone very close to them, who was now... dead.  I don't understand why they would do that to me,  call me by the name of someone that is dead.  That just sounds.... Disturbing.  That person is dead, she isn't me.  Why should I hold their name?  I am me, my own person.  At least give me my own name....  This world doesn't make sense to me.  I don't like it and I hate not knowing where or who I really am.  Why can't I be me, just the way I am, why do I need to learn their ways and try to be one of them.  I'm not.  And I am certainly not their Alexandria.... I never will be, it's not natural.  I guess you could say I'm not normal.  They don't see it though.  They think I am just like the other one.  They think I will think and act like they want me to.  They think I am someone or something that I am not and will never be.  Let me find my own identity.  Let me find who I want to be.  Let me choose who I am.  I am not and will never be.... Alexandria.... 

 Have you ever wondered who you were?  Or why you called the name you are called by everyone around you?  Have you ever wondered if you belonged to a different place, maybe even a different world?  If not, welcome to my life and the questions I seem to ask myself everyday.  I don't know where I came from, I know it's not from the people that I am with right now.  They aren't my parents and I'm not their Alexandria.   

The only thing that I am sure of, is that I am not like them.  And I will never be....  I need to find my true identity.  I need to know who I am.... 

Work

Have you ever been at work without anything to do and so you have to find something to pass the time?
I have.... that's how I am right now.....

I even searched "How to kill time online"

That didn't work.  So I came here, thinking maybe typing and thinking about what to type will help me pass the time a bit.  We will see how this goes.

But I have started to write a story.  I figured that I will post it every Friday now and let the story come to life on my blog from my mind. :)  The first one started at Lost, next is coming this Friday and is called Alexandria, and the Friday after that is called Pain.  I am excited to see where this goes and what kind of story it takes me on.  Now yes they are sad.  BUT no they aren't my story.  Yes, I am writing it, but it doesn't have to do with my life whatsoever.  I love my parents and am super happy.  I love my husband and my puppy and my whole family.  I feel like I have a great life.  This is just as story that I am making up.  It's time to let my mind be creative and I guess you could say "live" another life.

The story posts do have different fonts and format, that way you can easily tell which one is the story and which one is actually me posting something about my life.

Lost

Have you ever felt..... lost?  And I don't mean in a forest or some place where no one lives, or plans to.  When I say lost,  I mean; living in a world with people all around you, looking at you and talking to you, but nothing meaning anything.  Nothing feels right.  Nothing works. It's almost like I'm nothing, but at the same time I am something.  I don't belong in this world of people.  I don't know where I came from, but I know it's not from here.  I'm lost, without any hope of getting home..... whatever 'home' really means.  The two adult figures that I live with want me to call them 'mom' and 'dad', but I know that isn't true.  I just can't seem to get myself to call them something they are not, especially such a term so endearing.  I just.... I can't, even though I know it breaks their hearts.  They tell me they love me, almost every day..... Sometimes even multiple times a day.  They say they care for me and will protect me.  They are here for me.  They will do anything for me...... I hate hearing that.... I feel dirty.... I feel like a liar....  They aren't my parents and I'm not their child.  They can't love something that they don't know..... And tell me, how are they suppose to know what I am, when I don't even know.  All I know is that I'm different.  I don't do things the same as the other humans, even though they have tried to teach me their ways.  I don't want to do it, it feels.... weird..... like it's not the way that it's suppose to be done.  And I can only fake being someone I'm not for so long.  I can only fake being like them for a time being.  With each day that passes, I grow older, just like them, but that's the only thing we have in common.  The older I grow, the more different I feel..... And the more the need to be.... found..... grows within me.
Found.... what would it be like to be found?

Checking Them Goals

1. Write at least 12 post this years, meaning at least 1 a month. 
2. Get at least three good set Zumba classes. Don't let anything or one stop me. 
3. Tell my husband how much I love and appreciate him. 
4. Train Ari at least once every day, not including her daily walk. 
5. Enjoy the time I have with family. Both sides.

I wrote those goals  in February and it has been two month and I decided that it would be a good idea to check to see how I am doing on the goals.  And then try to improve on them starting today.

Write at least 12 post this years,  meaning at least 1 a month.

I have been doing really good on this one so far.  I have at least two posts in each month of this year.  That's really good for me, seeing as I could go months and months without writing here without a problem.  Remembering is the hard part for me.  But just because I have two posts in these first three months doesn't mean that I can slack on three other months.  No, as stated I need at least one post a month. 

Get at least three good set Zumba classes. Don't let anything or one stop me.

I have actually done this.  With a little bit of struggle at the beginning, but now I have four classes of Zumba within the week and a Hip Hop class.  So I feel great about this one.  Now I need to continue and not let anything stop me from living my dream!  I am getting closer and closer to my own dance studio, I can feel it!!! 

Tell my husband how much I love and appreciate him.

I have slacked on this one a little bit.  I should be able to do it more and express it more.  I was able to write about this in my last post, but that isn't enough, especially because he might not ever see it.  I need to improve and tell him more vocally.
So I will change this goal a little bit to make it more specific to where I can get it.

Tell my husband how much I love and appreciate him, once ever two days!

I think I can do that! :)

Train Ari at least once every day, not including her daily walk.

I have really been slacking on this one.  I need to do it, there are things we need to work on and I know we do, but I don't give her the time to work on.  So I will step up to this one and improve! Let's go!

Enjoy the time I have with family. Both sides.

Well..... let's just say I have completed half of this.  I have loved the time with my family and enjoyed it to the fullest.  But I am slacking really bad with Robert's side.  I need to work on that, and give myself more time to be with them to be able to enjoy it.  

Alright so I have done good with 2.5 of them.  That's not too bad, but it's not the best.  I will get this! I will do better and I will have a great life! :) Goals and working towards them make you better! 

The Best Husband

I can honestly say that I have the best husband in the world.  He puts up with my crazyness and understand my thinking even when I can't put it into words.  He helps me with everything and I honestly don't know what I would do without.



Recently my family dog, Max, passed away.  Just like the last post had stated. I hadn't cried yet on that Thursday when I got the news.  I didn't feel the need to, I knew it was coming I just didn't know when it would happen.
Thursday morning I got the news.
Thursday night I was looking at other dogs.  (Now remember Max lived with my parents)
Friday I put a deposit down for a puppy and brought him home.

I believe that it all happened because I lost Max and I didn't know how to cope with it.
Well I brought him home on Friday, without Robert knowing.  Robert came home from doing his show and SURPRISE!!! There was another puppy and on top of that I was puppy sitting my brother's dog.  So there were three little ones in my house.

I started to realize little by little that I didn't have the ability to take care of an extra little one.  Ari was enough and I could wait till we had a house and room to move to get another dog.  The weekend was an adventure.  Keeping the little ones from bugging Ari too much and cleaning up lots of pee and poop.
I did learn that I will never have three puppies at once of my own.

Finally had the time to sit down and actually talk to Robert about the new puppy and see what we needed and wanted to do.  That's when the little puppy got too close to Ari while she was sleeping.  And Ari got him, now Ari is a friendly dog! She loves to play with other dogs, this was first and the last.  Right then I knew what we needed to do to keep both dogs safe and happy.
I put him up on KSL and now he has a new family coming to get him tonight at 6:30pm.

Breaks my heart already to see him go, but I know that it's for the better.  For the sanity of my husband and the happiness and health of Ari and him.
I will love him forever, even though I only had him for three days.
I hope he enjoys his new family and the life in Heber! I will miss that little love bug....


But my lesson is learned, sadly it had to be the hard way.  I will not buy a puppy because I lost one.  I will not buy a puppy because I think it will be nice for mine to have a friend.  I will not buy a puppy just to buy a puppy.  They deserve better than that.  They deserve someone that can seriously take care of them and love them!

I will only buy a puppy when I have the room, time, money, and ability to care for them!
Dogs don't deserve to be in a shelter,  they deserve a home with love and a wonderful family.



But after that story.  Now I need to tell you why I have the best husband!  He didn't tell me to get rid of him.  He loved that little one.  He helped me take care of the three puppies over the weekend.  He comforted me as I realized that I made a mistake by getting another puppy.  He joked with me and made me feel good.  He helped with the gagger poops that I couldn't handle. He keeps me sane, and when I actually talk to him about things, he talks me out of those bad ideas.
And now today,  he is going with me to meet the little one's new family.  Then he is taking me for ice cream cause he knows and I know that I will cry when he leaves my arms and goes home with the other family.
He takes care of me and even though I make crazy decisions.... without him knowing. He loves me still and forgives me for my weaknesses.  He is the best husband I could ask for, and I so grateful to be able to be with him for all eternity.

Good-bye Max

Max, well, we got him one Christmas and ever since he has been one of the best dogs I have ever met. I love him so much and his ability to cuddle and just the love bug that he is. He would always go up to anyone in the house just to get his head rubbed, and if you did, you sure was his new best friend!

He thought he was a tough dog, barking at the dogs on the other side of the fence, but we knew that if he could see them, they would be playing around.

He played as well as he could with Chevy and Ari for him being old and them just new puppies with tons of energy.

Max with never be forgotten and I wish I could go to see him before he is gone. He really was an amazing dog! But with his physical state now, it would only make him suffer so much more. 

Max always loved to get love, attention, and a great head rub! I hope he gets all of the above and even more while he waits for our whole family to get up there with him.


I love you Max!

Marriage

I found this boy.
He was a friend, nothing more, although kissing him was nice.
We talked, texted every so often. But nothing special.
He had gray hairs, that was amazing!  I love gray hair! I find it so beautiful!
But there were other boys, 
They flirted a whole lot more, I chased them a whole lot more.
But this boy was still there, helping me through the troubles the other stupid boys seemed to cause.
He called me a mermaid.
He made me smile.
He made me laugh.
He made me happy.
And then he was gone, he chose to serve the Lord.
He left for two years, teaching the Word of God.
He wrote me.
I loved getting those letters.
They made me giggle.
They made me smile.

I was always so excited to be able to receive a letter from that Elder Fernandez-Rosa.
He even sent me a flower!
Then it was my turn.
I was gone, I chose to serve the Lord.
I left for a year and a half, teaching the Word of God.
I still wrote him.
He still wrote me.
Missionary to Missionary.
Working hard at the work at hand.
Then he went home.
I still wrote him.
Even though once he got home, he wrote less.
He went on dates,
Even told me about them.
I laughed at the stories.
I was happy. Even for the one letter a month, that I might have gotten.
Nine months passed.
Then I came home.
Little did I know that in less than a year,
This boy I found,
This friend of mine, nothing more,
Would become the most special person in my life.
Never would I have guessed that he would be singing outside my window,
Then down on one knee,
Asking to be his wife.
Never would I have known,
That this boy, would be my man,
My husband,
My eternal companion,
Forever.



Happy six months!

Dance Classes

Come take dance classes with me!!!!

March 31 - May 19

Every Thursday at West High School!

Prepay through the community education!
$40 for the whole 8 week period! s

Drop-ins $5 each class

Zumba
6:00pm - 7:00 pm

Contemporary Jazz
7:00pm - 8:00pm

Hip Hop
8:00pm - 9:00pm

There are two hip hop classes and two zumba classes that I can see, make sure you get the one at West! Or you won't be with me. tongue emoticon

Buying a House

Have you ever thought something would be easy and so you started looking into it and learning more about what you wanted to do.  Then you call that first person to take that first step and get moving.  Soon after to be on overload of information about what you need to do, how you need to do it, and everything you need.  Well, I did just that.

I knew that buying a house wasn't as easy as going to the store and buying a candy bar, the furthest away from just that.
But I didn't know that there was so much that had to be in place and almost perfect before anything can happen.  That first call was a hard thing,  he talked about everything,  our income what we can qualify for and what we need to do to get moving on getting a home loan and everything else. He talked about getting out of our apartment, which I didn't think would be possible until September when the lease was finally up.  But talking to the landlord changed the whole game, we only needed to pay the fee (which was less than our monthly rent) and sign the papers to get out, and we were out.  We found out that we could get a house a whole lot sooner than we thought.
Minor setbacks coming into play as we figured out our debts, but we were still able to take a step forward because we were able to figure those out without a problem. :)

Our hopes of moving our sooner were pushed back a little bit, but not by much, just a couple of months.  We would still be out of there before September, our initial move out date.

Then we got a phone call, Brandon, our financial guy called to tell us that there is a house that we could get.  Our down payment was being gifted by my aunt's commission check.  She was helping us out into a great house with a great deal.  We wouldn't need the money up front,  the one thing that was now stopping us from moving out right away.  Our hope was lit once again.

Now is the hardest time, waiting to be able to go and see the house, to see if that is where we would like to move into.  We can't get in there until the tenants that are currently living in there move out, because they refuse to show the house.  We have two weeks to wait to see the house,  till then we have to decided to go out with Teresa and look at houses, see what we like and don't like.  See what it an automatic no and what we could look past.

I honestly believe that we will be moving into the house to start with, and if we don't like the are or something is wrong we can always move in a couple years or so, after we get enough money saved up and have the ability to do it without a problem.  It's crazy how things can turn around for the better or for the worse, so quickly.  But I am so thankful for the help of everyone that I have talked to about buying a house, how much it would cost, and every other detail that goes into buying a house and the upkeep. I am so excited for the chance to get out of an apartment and be able to live in a house, where my puppy can run free in the back yard and enjoy herself more!

I am super excited for the chance to grow and learn more with Robert, he is such a blessing in my life and has helped me in many more ways than he knows.  I feel like we work well together and once we decide to have children, I feel like we will be able to take good care of them. :)  Though that will be in the future, far future, I am not ready to have a child just yet.  I don't feel like it's my time just yet. :)  But I will have a family, an eternal family. :)

The Lord's Work

We have all heard the phrase "The Lord works in mysterious ways", and well I just have to say that I witnessed that the other day.

It was on Wednesday and I usually teach dance classes right after work on Wednesday's, but nothing was going right.  I couldn't get a dance put together for either class, and I didn't feel.  I cancelled the class, which I didn't like doing, but it was for the best.  After I cancelled it, my mind went crazy, because it made me think that I didn't like teaching dance as much as I thought I would, I was confused.  My dream was to have my own dance studio and be able to teach dance at home, not needing to go to a nine to five job and feel like I was wasting my time.
I started looking into Marine Biology and Astronomy, something that I have thought about doing in the past, but none of that was calling to me.  None of them lit my heart like dancing did.  I had to stop and think, dogs make me happy, I always thought about having a shelter for dogs so they can get adopted without the fear of getting put down.  I would love to do that as well, but it's still not the same as dancing... Feeling that release as everything stops as I move in the dance room without a care. :)
I'm loving Zumba and the hour it gives me to dance and work out with others and well get paid for it.  I love it and I plan on taking it as far as I can! It's amazing! A good stress reliever!

Talking to my husband, for the little time he got on his break.  We planned on going to the Open House of the Provo Temple.  Since we both had to cancelled our normal plans for the night.  It was perfect and the night was perfect.  There was no cares in the temple, just the calming and beautiful feeling of the spirit.  I love the temple, either just being on the temple grounds or going inside.  There is this wonderful feeling there that you cannot get anywhere else in the world.

Robert and I wouldn't have been able to go to the temple if his rehearsal wasn't cancelled and if I didn't have to cancel my dance class.  The Lord works in wonderful ways to make things possible.  Robert and I needed that time together and in a special place as well. :)
I feel better and more relaxed. I am back on track to what I feel like I need to do.

I will open my dance studio and I will love, even if I only teach Zumba there and have other teachers come in and teach dance classes.  Either way, I will have my dream,  DanzaLife will be mine.  My studio and my career! :)

Happy Monday

Another weekend has come and gone and sadly I spent it being sick.  Now I didn't stay in bed and sleep to get better,  I hate doing that, I always feel like the sickness drags on and on that way.

Instead I started up my second Zumba class on Saturday mornings 11am at my apartment. :)   $5.
It was a good class and I am excited to watch it start to grow and expand!  I love Zumba and this opportunity I have to be an instructor and have a dance party with my friends and family. While getting one step closer to a healthier body! :)

I am hoping to be able to get one more Zumba class going,  that way I have three classes that can grow and my career can grow as well.  One day I hope to be able to become a Zumba Jammer then a ZES.  I will move up in the world of Zumba and maybe one day I can be Zumba-famous and go on the Zumba Cruise!!!  That would be awesome! But not only that, but make it even more possible to open my own dance studio and be able to teach all different styles of dance there so that people are able to learn and move in many different ways!


Today I have mostly been looking up different trick to teach my puppy Ari :)  I want her to be impressive with what she knows.  I am thinking about going and buying a clicker after work and start to see if that will help train her.  From what I read it is an easy way to train.  But there are a list of 52 tricks that I found that I would love for her to be able to do on command! :)  I love her so much and I know how smart she is,  I know that she can learn any trick that I throw at her! :)
I thought I was a patient person and I still think I am, but I have realized that I am more patient with other people than I am with myself.  When Ari does something bad, mostly peeing in the wrong spot, I feel frustrated with myself and how I can't teach her to go to the right spot.  Which makes it hard on me.  Another thing she has troubles on, yes I know she is a puppy and they naturally bite, BUT! She still needs to learn now that it isn't okay to bite, because I don't want her to be biting us when she is older and stronger.  Ari biting is the hardest thing for me and I feel like I break down a lot more with not being able to teach her to stop biting.
Sad to say, I tried bopping her on the nose, but I don't like it and I don't think it is working at all.  I am stopping it and I will NEVER use it again on a puppy.  I will find a different way to teach them, I just have to figure out how her brain works and what stops her from biting. :P

I love my life and the ability I have to be challenged and grow!!!! :)

Goals 2015

I usually don't make goals, and I am making these goals a little late for the New Year.  But that's okay because it's never too late to decide to change.  And you don't have to wait for the New Year to make a goal to do something. :)

Take a step forward and don't allow yourself to go backwards,  you're better than that, and you can do anything that you can set your mind to.

Alright,  my goals

• Write at least 12 post this years,  meaning at least 1 a month.
• Get at least three good set Zumba classes. Don't let anything or one stop me.
• Tell my husband how much I love and appreciate him.
• Train Ari at least once every day, not including her daily walk.
• Enjoy the time I have with family.  Both sides.

What are some of your goals?  And how are you going to accomplish them?!?

Every Step in Life

Have you ever just sat there and thought that there is so much in this world that I can do, but there is so little time to do it all?

That's where I am sitting right now.  I work a 9-5 job, great place, good people, good pay, and while there is nothing to do I can be on the internet.  Easy peazy.  But you know, this is definitely not something that I would want to do my whole life.  I want to be able to move, dance, and go places through out the day.  I want to be able to have my own studio and teach dance to people of all ages, old and young, new and experienced.  I want a place that people can go to and move their body and feel good about it. I want to give people a place where they can go for an hour and forget about life and their worries and just dance it out, work up and sweat, and prepare themselves for the rest of the day or week.

I started as an Independent Consultant with Mary Kay, thinking it would be a great asset to help me get a little extra cash to get my studio up and running, then I added Jamberry to the picture; to be able to get a bigger clientele.  The more things you have the more people you can bring in right?!? :)

And my next big adventure that I have brought into my life is Zumba. :)   Something that I have wanted to do for a while. I love going and taking Zumba classes, they are a fun and great way to work out without actually thinking about it being a work out.  You have a full hour to dance and move your body and just have fun.  AMAZING!
So a couple weeks ago I went to a training to become a Certified Zumba Insturctor.  :)  I got certified on a Friday and the first class I had was the next Tuesday.  Very little time to prepare, but it was a blast!

I called the owner of MC Intensity Studio, on a Monday and she asked me to come in the next day.  Well, that was exciting and I was stoked, till I realized that I really didn't have anything memorized.  I didn't have an hour class to be able to give.  I went home thinking that I would be able to practice and get things together, but my husband wanted to go out.  We needed to go out and get some things so that we could survive. ;)  People have to eat right?!?  Well we got home at like 9pm, which gave me two hours to put together an hour class.  And if you know how dances are, to put together a 3 minute dance takes about 30 minutes minimum.  So I started,  little hope in my head that I would be able to put together these dances and memorize them by the next day.

To be honest. By the end of the night, I was able to do the dances, if I was looking at the paper with the moves written down on them.
I went to the class, hoping for the best and thinking the most positive thoughts that I have ever thought before.  Knowing that if I forgot something, I would just have to keep moving and keep smiling.  Have fun.  And definitely FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

The music turned on.  I was excited!  And then my mind went blank.... I forgot it all.  I made up every move on the spot.  I played with the music.  Smiled and laughed at my mistakes, and gladly they were able to follow me.  They were smiling and after it all, they said it was fun and that I did a good job.  Little did they know it was my very first class and I didn't remember any of the steps that I had created the night before. :)

But I can say.  It was fun.  I enjoyed myself and the owner came up to me after with a smile and asked if I would be able to come every Tuesday.  And with that started my Zumba career.
I am still looking for classes and will be fighting my way to the top!  I want to become a Zumba Jammer.  I want to be able to teach the trainings!  I want to teach on the Zumba Cruise!  Hell! I will push and push till I get to the top!!!
Zumba is going to help me get that extra push to opening my own dance studio.

DanzaLife. <--------- One day you will be mine!

If you want to come to my zumba class, it's every Tuesday at 6:30pm at MC Intensity Studio

I promise you,  it will be a party and I know the moves now ;)


Zumba
Jamberry
Mary Kay

Divina Luz

1. Divina Luz, con esplendor benigno, alúmbrame.

Oscuras son la noche y la senda; mi Guía sé.

Muy lejos de Tu pabellón estoy, y al hogar de las alturas voy.

2. Momentos hubo en que Tu ayuda no supliqué,

confiando en mi propia experiencia; no tuve fe.

Mas hoy deploro esa ceguedad; préstame, Dios, Tu grata claridad.

3. Guiando Tú, la noche resplandece,

y cruzaré los valles, montes, riscos y torrentes con firme pie.

Veré después el día despertar, y me guiarás de vuelta a mi hogar.

Best Days

You know those days that you can't forget?!  Well today is one of them.  I got my puppy today.  Seeing her for the first time was so amazing.  She is the cutest little thing and she is all mine! Well and my husband's, but you know what I mean.

Today starts a new step in my life, because I get to focus on her and training her.  She will be able to make me happier.  Having an animal in my life is something that changes me so much! I have missed having a pet that was "mine" since I left on my mission.  My kitty, Shadow died two weeks after I left, and coming home from my mission to no animal of my own.... It was hard, but you know, I was able to get through.  For a moment having a bunny named Pato, but then Brighton started and I wasn't able to take care of Pato so I had to give him/her away.....  It was sad and I cried....

But now I have my puppy!  Ari! I love her and I am so excited to be able to watch her learn and grow!