Lost

Have you ever felt..... lost?  And I don't mean in a forest or some place where no one lives, or plans to.  When I say lost,  I mean; living in a world with people all around you, looking at you and talking to you, but nothing meaning anything.  Nothing feels right.  Nothing works. It's almost like I'm nothing, but at the same time I am something.  I don't belong in this world of people.  I don't know where I came from, but I know it's not from here.  I'm lost, without any hope of getting home..... whatever 'home' really means.  The two adult figures that I live with want me to call them 'mom' and 'dad', but I know that isn't true.  I just can't seem to get myself to call them something they are not, especially such a term so endearing.  I just.... I can't, even though I know it breaks their hearts.  They tell me they love me, almost every day..... Sometimes even multiple times a day.  They say they care for me and will protect me.  They are here for me.  They will do anything for me...... I hate hearing that.... I feel dirty.... I feel like a liar....  They aren't my parents and I'm not their child.  They can't love something that they don't know..... And tell me, how are they suppose to know what I am, when I don't even know.  All I know is that I'm different.  I don't do things the same as the other humans, even though they have tried to teach me their ways.  I don't want to do it, it feels.... weird..... like it's not the way that it's suppose to be done.  And I can only fake being someone I'm not for so long.  I can only fake being like them for a time being.  With each day that passes, I grow older, just like them, but that's the only thing we have in common.  The older I grow, the more different I feel..... And the more the need to be.... found..... grows within me.
Found.... what would it be like to be found?